Business Writing Tip Sheet: June '08

Soften criticism with the right words

Compare the harsh sentences (bold) to the softer sentences (Italics) below.

Your plan failed.

We couldn't implement your plan successfully.

Your memo was very confusing.

I had difficulty understanding your memo.

Divide bulleted items into categories

Instead of one long list of bulleted items, separate them into smaller, more digestible categories.

Too many bullets coming at me

Among our goals for the third quarter:

Educate sales reps on new products.
Generate more referrals.
Earn more revenues from cross-selling.
Shorten delivery time.
Reduce the number of shipping errors.
Lower shipping costs.
Improve client satisfaction.
Educate account reps on how to deal with tough clients.
Return clients' calls faster.

Bullets separated into categories, easier to read

Among our goals for the third quarter:

Sales

Educate sales reps on new products.
Generate more referrals.
Earn more revenues from cross-selling.

Distribution

Shorten delivery time.
Reduce the number of shipping errors.
Lower shipping costs.

Customer service

Improve client satisfaction rating.
Educate account reps on how to deal with tough clients.
Return clients' calls faster.

Grammar tip: into vs. in to

The manager walked slowly into the board room.

Turn your performance reviews in to the HR Director by July 1.

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